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ALL INFORMATION IN THIS POST IS COURTESY OF EMILY KULKARNI and LAYNE MANDROS of BOOKS FORWARD.
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Ballet dancer’s memoir takes readers behind the scenes of The Nutcracker, finding meaning onstage and off.
November 12, 2024
She Writes Press
Nonfiction, Memoir
"The descriptions of [Kovac's] emotional highs and lows of pursuing a passion—such as the thrill of performance, the sting of competition, and how personal relationships coexist—will resonate with anyone who has ever chased a dream." –Readers’ Favorite, ★★★★★
“Smart, vivid, and full of heart, Kovac nails what it feels like to be a little kid with a big dream, then fearlessly leads us to that dream's realization and--maybe best of all--to what comes after.”—Sara Nović, New York Times bestselling author of “True Biz” and “Girl at War”
“‘The Nutcracker Chronicles’ traces the root of one girl’s dream to dance and reach for the divine while laying bare the hard truths that come with that kind of stretching—the emotional, physical, spiritual and financial costs incurred in the name of relentless artistic callings. This book dazzles with vulnerability and vibrates with the unbridled innocence and energy of youthful convictions, reminding us that certain human needs, like love and confidence and simply being seen, are inside jobs, and while the human body has its limits, the search for that single thing that makes our hearts soar is illimitable. This book is a triumph for our times and a tribute to every one of us who knows what it means to feel more than see the beauty around and in us.”
—Putsata Reang, author of Pacific Northwest Book Award winner “Ma and Me”
"...an inspiring account of dedication and the transformative power of dance, inviting readers to reflect on their own journeys of self-discovery and resilience. Very highly recommended."
—Readers’ Favorite, ★★★★★
"Filled with vivid, transporting descriptions of dance, from the fabric of sumptuous costumes to the fascinating mechanics of balance, The Nutcracker Chronicles is a true insider's take on what transpires behind the scenes, on and off stage, and in the hearts and bodies of dancers. Kovac highlights not just the pure beauty of ballet, but the interconnected waves of enthrallment, hard work, setbacks, celebration, and self-possession that shaped her life from childhood lessons to professional fruition and success."—Savala Nolan, author of “Don’t Let It Get You Down: Essays on Race, Gender, and the Body”
“A voice as distinctive and moving as they come. Kovac writes from deeply inside the experience and through it all we are privy to what isn’t seen on stage, for she not only knows she tells, ‘exactly what’s happening on the other side of the curtain.’ Janine Kovac has penned a new ballet of prose that will stay with you long after that final curtain call.”—Toni Mirosevich, author of “Spell Heaven”
“Janine Kovac’s evocative memoir of her life in dance, punctuated by all the Nutcrackers in her long and circuitous career, takes us on a journey that is both relatable and extraordinary. Her precise memory for poignant detail took me straight back to those early days of our shared Ballet El Paso Nutcrackers! Brava Janine, you so expertly portray all the complicated facets of a life devoted to dance and all the shapes that life can take.”—Tanya Rivero Warren, network news anchor, and former New York City Ballet dancer
“Janine Kovac's vividly written and cleverly structured memoir will give anyone delighted with Nutcracker an insider understanding of what it's like to be a working dancer, as well as deepen their understanding of the Tchaikovsky classic.”—Rachel Howard, San Francisco Chronicle dance critic and author of “The Risk of Us”
Janine Kovac’s witty, honest, heartfelt ballet-centric memoir moves with the grace of dance, from little girl enthusiasms, oven-baked toe shoes, petty jealousies, and nasty teachers to the tireless competition of international auditioning, performance and struggling to make a life on stage. For those who love dance, for those who know nothing of dance, this bittersweet book will speak to you about perseverance, friendship, and what is really important.—Lauren Kessler, author of “Raising the Barre: Big Dream, False Starts and My Midlife Quest to Dance the Nutcracker”
ABOUT NUTCRACKER CHRONICLES:
In this stylishly-ambitious memoir, Janine Kovac blends her personal life with the events in ballet’s most famous show: “The Nutcracker.”
“The Nutcracker Chronicles” tells the story of Janine’s pursuit of an elusive dream that compels her to endure blistered toes, weekly weigh-ins, second-hand pointe shoes, and constant insults from her directors. Why can’t you just dance like a pretty girl?
Janine Kovac was seven years old when she got a fluttery feeling in her chest while watching her first performance of “The Nutcracker.”
From that moment, she knew she wanted to be a ballerina. It wasn’t long before she herself was dancing the part of a snowflake, flower, mouse, soldier, and Fritz, Clara’s brother, who snatches the nutcracker from her and yanks off its head—all in search of the magic she felt only on the stage.
Over a twelve-year career, Janine dances with ballet companies in San Francisco, Seattle, Germany, Iceland, and Italy, returning home every holiday season to perform “The Nutcracker” with Ballet El Paso.
Despite the challenges of the ballet world, Janine can’t resist the inner glow and effortlessness she feels on stage, under the lights, dancing to Tchaikovsky in the Land of Sweets, ruled by a sugar plum fairy.
That’s when she feels beautiful.
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ABOUT THE AUTHOR:
JANINE KOVAC enjoyed a twelve-year career as a professional ballet dancer in Iceland, Italy, San Francisco, and her hometown of El Paso, Texas.
Outside of the ballet world, her distinctions include U.C. Berkeley’s Glushko Award for Distinguished Research in Cognitive Science, an Elizabeth George Foundation Fellowship from Hedgbrook, and the Calderwood Fellowship for Journalism from MacDowell.
Janine is the author of “Brain Changer: A Mother’s Guide to Cognitive Science” and “Spinning: Choreography for Coming Home,” which received a National Indie Excellence Award.
She lives in Oakland, California.
Learn more about her life and work at: https://www.janinekovac.com/
FOLLOW JANINE KOVAC ON SOCIAL MEDIA:
Facebook: @Janine.Kovac.Writer
Instagram: @Janine.Kovac
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An Interview with
Janine Kovac
1. What was your inspiration for this unique ballet memoir?
When I was in high school, I wrote an essay about the disasters that befell a small ballet troupe from El Paso on its “Nutcracker” tour of West Texas. The essay was published in San Francisco Ballet’s “Nutcracker” playbill and I have been writing about the dramas that unfold onstage and backstage ever since. But it wasn’t until I married a ballet dancer and we had children of our own dancing in the “Nutcracker” did I realize that the ballet was like a metaphor for life.
2. Were there any stories that didn’t make it into the book?
Not in the book: all the antics onstage–like the time one of the mice donned skis and glided into the snow scene at the most dramatic point in the music. Dancing fifty performances in a single month gets boring after a while and sometimes the dancers would find ways to make it interesting–from dressing-room decorating contests to practical jokes hidden in plain sight onstage. Many of these stories didn’t make it into the book. And gossip–I left out lots of gossip.
3. How do you approach writing about people who were unkind to you?
My rule of thumb is to be more generous to them in their depiction than I’d like to be. After all, they won’t be able to give their side of the story. So when I write about difficult relationships or unkind behavior, I examine ways that I, too, might have been unkind. And I focus on the facts that are the most relevant to the story.
4. Why do you think some ballets, like The Nutcracker, have stood the test of time, and are still being performed centuries after their first show?
There are many theories about this (Jennifer Fisher wrote a whole book “Nutcracker Nation” devoted to this subject), but I think it starts with the music. Tchaikovsky’s “Nutcracker” score is eminently danceable. It’s also dreamy, light, complex, dramatic, emotional–it unfolds like a story. There’s so much breadth and depth that choreographers have room to make it their own. And the Nutcracker story the way it has been adapted from the fairytale means that there is room for everyone to dance in it. There is something for every member of the audience to relate to.
5. What are some facts about The Nutcracker that readers may not know?
– The very first “Nutcracker” ballet was paired with the premiere of Tchaikovsky’s opera Iolanthe, which is about a blind princess imprisoned in a castle. It was a very long opening night!
– It is often repeated that Tchaikovsky hated the “Nutcracker” but at that time in his career, Tchaikovsky was the most celebrated composer in Russia. Some historians interpret his moaning as fishing for compliments.
– The protagonists of E. T. A. Hoffmann’s novella “The Nutcracker and the Mouse King” are Marie and Fritz, who are based on Hoffmann’s actual godchildren (also named Marie and Fritz).
– The first full-length “Nutcracker” produced in the United States was performed by San Francisco Ballet in 1942. The country was at war and many materials (such as leather for ballet shoes) were rationed and The Sugar Plum Fairy had to sew her own tights.
6. Ballet is often viewed as a “toxic” artistic environment. How has your experience diverged from the stereotypes?
Healthy competition was more normal than petty jealousies. When you are a professional ballet dancer, it is literally your job to express joy and you and your colleagues spend every day trying to get better at it. There isn’t a lot of time left over for the mean-girl antics you see in the movies.
7. How is your creative process as a dancer similar/different to your process as a writer?
Being a dancer taught me to show up for my art every day, even when I don’t feel like it–maybe especially when I don’t feel like it.
My life as a dancer primed me to look for the tools and strategies that help me thrive as an artist.
My writing life has more snacks and fewer cigarettes than my dancing life did! When I’m stuck as a writer, I often think about what I would do if this were a problem in the ballet studio. Do I need to metaphorically “warm-up?” Do I need to take a break? What am I really trying to express? When I first started out, I sought out writers who were better and more established than I. I sought out community and mentorship. But writing is much more solitary than dancing and I have to rely more on my artistic instincts. I’m also older as a writer and I have a kinder approach to my work than I did when I was a younger artist.
8. What has been your experience as an artist and mother? Do you have any advice for readers searching for their own creative outlets at midlife?
There is the creative aspect of it and the discipline of it. The creative part is cultivating the courage to be vulnerable and expressive. The discipline part means that you prioritize your work. You do it even when you don’t feel like it, even when it doesn’t make sense, even when other people don’t understand. Both halves are necessary to be an artist. Also, make your kids do chores. Lots of chores. And set boundaries. In the beginning, I’d say, “When the door’s shut, Mama’s writing and you can’t come in.” I’d get at most ten minutes of writing time. But I kept reinforcing that idea (“When you see I’m writing in my notebook, it means I can’t talk to you”), and over the years, it has paid off.
Finally, don’t measure yourself by other people’s yardsticks.
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1. What was your inspiration for this unique ballet memoir?
When I was in high school, I wrote an essay about the disasters that befell a small ballet troupe from El Paso on its “Nutcracker” tour of West Texas. The essay was published in San Francisco Ballet’s “Nutcracker” playbill and I have been writing about the dramas that unfold onstage and backstage ever since. But it wasn’t until I married a ballet dancer and we had children of our own dancing in the “Nutcracker” did I realize that the ballet was like a metaphor for life.
2. Were there any stories that didn’t make it into the book?
Not in the book: all the antics onstage–like the time one of the mice donned skis and glided into the snow scene at the most dramatic point in the music. Dancing fifty performances in a single month gets boring after a while and sometimes the dancers would find ways to make it interesting–from dressing-room decorating contests to practical jokes hidden in plain sight onstage. Many of these stories didn’t make it into the book. And gossip–I left out lots of gossip.
3. How do you approach writing about people who were unkind to you?
My rule of thumb is to be more generous to them in their depiction than I’d like to be. After all, they won’t be able to give their side of the story. So when I write about difficult relationships or unkind behavior, I examine ways that I, too, might have been unkind. And I focus on the facts that are the most relevant to the story.
4. Why do you think some ballets, like The Nutcracker, have stood the test of time, and are still being performed centuries after their first show?
There are many theories about this (Jennifer Fisher wrote a whole book “Nutcracker Nation” devoted to this subject), but I think it starts with the music. Tchaikovsky’s “Nutcracker” score is eminently danceable. It’s also dreamy, light, complex, dramatic, emotional–it unfolds like a story. There’s so much breadth and depth that choreographers have room to make it their own. And the Nutcracker story the way it has been adapted from the fairytale means that there is room for everyone to dance in it. There is something for every member of the audience to relate to.
5. What are some facts about The Nutcracker that readers may not know?
– The very first “Nutcracker” ballet was paired with the premiere of Tchaikovsky’s opera Iolanthe, which is about a blind princess imprisoned in a castle. It was a very long opening night!
– It is often repeated that Tchaikovsky hated the “Nutcracker” but at that time in his career, Tchaikovsky was the most celebrated composer in Russia. Some historians interpret his moaning as fishing for compliments.
– The protagonists of E. T. A. Hoffmann’s novella “The Nutcracker and the Mouse King” are Marie and Fritz, who are based on Hoffmann’s actual godchildren (also named Marie and Fritz).
– The first full-length “Nutcracker” produced in the United States was performed by San Francisco Ballet in 1942. The country was at war and many materials (such as leather for ballet shoes) were rationed and The Sugar Plum Fairy had to sew her own tights.
6. Ballet is often viewed as a “toxic” artistic environment. How has your experience diverged from the stereotypes?
Healthy competition was more normal than petty jealousies. When you are a professional ballet dancer, it is literally your job to express joy and you and your colleagues spend every day trying to get better at it. There isn’t a lot of time left over for the mean-girl antics you see in the movies.
7. How is your creative process as a dancer similar/different to your process as a writer?
Being a dancer taught me to show up for my art every day, even when I don’t feel like it–maybe especially when I don’t feel like it.
My life as a dancer primed me to look for the tools and strategies that help me thrive as an artist.
My writing life has more snacks and fewer cigarettes than my dancing life did! When I’m stuck as a writer, I often think about what I would do if this were a problem in the ballet studio. Do I need to metaphorically “warm-up?” Do I need to take a break? What am I really trying to express? When I first started out, I sought out writers who were better and more established than I. I sought out community and mentorship. But writing is much more solitary than dancing and I have to rely more on my artistic instincts. I’m also older as a writer and I have a kinder approach to my work than I did when I was a younger artist.
8. What has been your experience as an artist and mother? Do you have any advice for readers searching for their own creative outlets at midlife?
There is the creative aspect of it and the discipline of it. The creative part is cultivating the courage to be vulnerable and expressive. The discipline part means that you prioritize your work. You do it even when you don’t feel like it, even when it doesn’t make sense, even when other people don’t understand. Both halves are necessary to be an artist. Also, make your kids do chores. Lots of chores. And set boundaries. In the beginning, I’d say, “When the door’s shut, Mama’s writing and you can’t come in.” I’d get at most ten minutes of writing time. But I kept reinforcing that idea (“When you see I’m writing in my notebook, it means I can’t talk to you”), and over the years, it has paid off.
Finally, don’t measure yourself by other people’s yardsticks.
Perfect for the season.
ReplyDeleteThanks for stopping.
I really enjoyed the interview.
ReplyDeleteGreat to hear, Mystica.
DeleteThanks for your comment as always.